The story of Whei Jie and Fabia

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May God work out my life the same way as He did for Whei Jie and Fabia ... 

The story of Whei Jie and Fabia

By Christine Tan

In my mind, a picture of perfect love is a loving couple committed to one another despite the circumstances. However, in the world today, break-ups and divorces are prevalent, and circumstances often determine a couple's commitment rather than vice-versa. Many couples change partners casually and often too frequently. The trend perceived is that the wisest (and perhaps "coolest") thing to do is to have many partners, so as to find the "right" one for your life. Apart from our grandparent's generation of matchmaking, it is rare to find a couple whose first love becomes their eventual life partner.

Whei Jie and Fabia, both 27, were each other's first love. After a long courtship of 8 years, they got married in September 2006. They overcame all odds, including a four year long distance relationship. You might find them rather familiar as this couple has graced the front cover of the "Naked I" magazine.

Their Story
Unlike her peers, Fabia had a different perspective on love and relationships. In her teens, she firmly believed that her first boyfriend should also become her husband-to-be. She wanted to commit to a relationship that would last. She also believed that her future boyfriend must be a Christian, one who loves and follows God. For her, the test came in January 1998, when she entered Junior College and met Whei Jie.

Whei Jie, who came from a neighbouring school, was extremely playful and had no interest in girls until he met his new classmate Fabia. He found himself attracted to Fabia because of the care she showed him as his friend. They were very comfortable with one another and slowly the feelings developed.

Fabia liked Whei jie, but there was a huge barrier that prevented her from beginning this relationship. Whei Jie was not a Christian, and she felt she would not be obeying God if she accepted him as her boyfriend. Fabia was torn, yet she knew she had to make the right decision and wanted to put God above her own desires. She gave the relationship to God and trusted that He would work something out for her.

One fateful night, Fabia revealed to Whei Jie her reason for not committing to the relationship. Whei Jie was taken aback by her decision. Though Whei Jie had been to church a couple of times, he could not understand why Fabia would be so serious about her Christian faith and allow it to determine her decision. After several days of reflection, Whei Jie's interest towards Christianity grew, not because of his enthusiasm in pursuing Fabia, but to find out who Jesus Christ really is. After months of reading the Bible, he was convinced that Jesus is the only way to salvation and life. He decided to place his faith in Christ. This time, Whei Jie knew that even if his relationship with Fabia did not work out, he would still believe in Christ. His sincere faith in Christ gave Fabia the assurance she needed.

Mid 1998, the couple began their courtship. From the start, they made the decision that their relationship would lead to marriage and that they would work on it despite the circumstances. At a young age of 17 they held on to their commitment, even when Fabia left to study in Australia for four years. They married 8 years later in September 2006.

Q: Fabia, I am really amazed that you had the courage to make the decision not to accept Whei Jie. What were the thoughts that went through your mind?
It was a hard and torturous time because I really liked Whei Jie. However, I knew that for him to begin a relationship with God was far more important than beginning a relationship with me. I wanted him to know God. Furthermore, I knew that if Whei Jie did not understand the love of God, he would not understand how I could or would want to be loved. Looking back, I know it is only God who could have given me the courage to make such a decision when I was just 17.

Q: Whei Jie, how did your life change after you accepted Christ?
God gave me a clear sense of direction and purpose, e.g. how to love, who to marry, etc. After we got together, I made the decision to love her in the way God loves me. I committed myself to be her husband. I also know my future is secure with Him.

Q: Wow! You were one another's first love! How did you maintain this courtship till marriage?
There was a lot of security in our relationship. From the start, we were very serious about making our relationship last and being faithful to each other. At the young age of 17, we made a commitment to work our relationship towards marriage. With God's help, we have been together for almost ten years now!

Q: Both of you were apart for 4 years, were you ever tempted to break-up?
There was never a point in our relationship where we were tempted to break-up, even when Fabia was studying overseas. It was not easy as we were apart for so long, but we held on to our commitment to be together. God helped us to cope with our loneliness and held us strong together. Looking back, it was in those 4 years that we both grew a lot in our faith in God.

Q: In your opinion, what is the key to a lasting relationship?
The couple must choose to believe that their relationship will last. It is a commitment to love each other to the end, not to make anyone your "reserve" if the relationship won't work out. Commitment and sacrifice are crucial. Besides these, it is also of utmost importance to allow God be the anchor of your relationship because no matter how perfect a couple seems, they will still hurt each other. God is the only unchanging One who loves us unconditionally and perfectly!

Q: Lasting relationships are rare in today's culture. Why do you think someone should stay committed in a relationship and not jump from one person to another?
Our hearts are valuable. We should not settle for the second best. A lot of people jump into relationships because they need affection and love to fill the emptiness of their hearts. If we commit ourselves loosely in a relationship, we will inevitably end up being hurt again and again. As a result, we will carry our scars and burdens from one relationship to another.

The story of Fabia and Whei Jie is an unusual one. At the point of a crossroad, Fabia surrendered the relationship to the will of God. In the face of rejection, Whei Jie discovered that the love of God for him is far greater that his own love for Fabia. As a result of their obedience and pursuit of God, they found each other. Does perfect love exist? Yes, I believe it does. When we are loved by the Perfect Lover, Jesus Christ, can we truly know how to love each other.

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." --1 John 4:7-10

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